Last week I went to Kansas City for one of my family Christmases and it was a great time. Of course it was not void of the normal family drama, but what is a family get together without a little spice, right? The great thing about going to Kansas City for me is that I get 7 hours in the car, which for some sounds like torture, but for me, it’s bliss. I get a lot of time to listen to whatever I want, sing, and think. This trip, I was pondering the passing 2015 and the upcoming 2016.
As I thought of 2015, I was underwhelmed. I felt like I was complacent, undisciplined, and generally unproductive. Whomp Whomp. I guess this pessimistic attitude is what kicked me in the rear and inspired me to make real goals for this next year. I started to think of the things that I wanted to accomplish, in my health, business, writing, relationships, lifestyle, etc. HOLY OVERWHELMING BATMAN!!! So, when I got home, I printed out some worksheets and started to sort it all out, then prioritize the goals from short term to long term and everything in between.
Yesterday I went to therapy (I assert that everyone should see a therapist at some point in their life whether or not they have a mental illness, but that is another post completely) and I told her about my renewed motivation and my lists of goals and plans for 2016. She was excited for me, but knowing who I am, she asked what happens if it doesn’t go exactly to plan… I kind of froze and said… “Um, not sure.” So we chatted a bit about the rigidity of my goals and then she threw a whammy at me:
You talk like 2015 was a bust… you accomplished more in 2015 than anyone I know… you wrote your entire trauma history from birth to present and worked through it without any massive breakdowns. That is HUGE progress.
Whoa. She helped me to adjust my whole paradigm and see the progress that I had made and encouraged me to give myself grace as I compared the past year with my plans for the upcoming year. Man was I fed a dose of my own medicine (if you read my last post you know what I’m saying. If not you can find it here).
Now that I see a bit more clearly, I find myself more motivated and a more grounded as I reassess my goals. I realize that my discomfort is coming from the self-imposed harsh judgement of my accomplishments – or perceived lack-thereof in the last year.
As I sit here and finish this post, I am taking a deep breath and realizing that 2016 is most certainly a new chapter for which I definitely have great goals, AND 2015 was pretty stinkin successful too. Ha, I almost got fully sucked into the shame game of New Years resolutions! Good thing I have someone I can bounce this stuff off of and get solid advice from.
Do you find yourself judging your last year and launching into lofty goals for the new year? Rather, do you get too overwhelmed and hide under the covers? (I do that sometimes too). How do you cope with the pressure to be better, do more, accomplish, produce, do, do, do??? I guess I should read my last post again. ***Shrug***
I’d love to hear what you think!
~H
Annika Rose Community 